Elimidate: Shinobi Edition
by MonroeFishel
Summary: What happens when you take four ninja to fight not for pride or life or death but for the affections of one memeber of the opposite sex? THIS. Be afraid ... very afraid.
1. Tsunade: Part One

Elimidate: Konoha Edition

Today, on Elimidate, its everyone's favorite busty Hokage, Tsunade! Vying for a date with this attractive medical-nin are:

Kakashi Hatake! A 25 year old jounin!

Jiraiya! A legendary Senin and author of Come Come Paradise!

Ebisu! Uh, a closet pervert!

And …

Gai Maito! A taijutsu user in the summer of his youth!

Tsunade is sitting at a bar in Konoha, waiting for the four dates to arrive. She doesn't have her pet pig or Shizune with her like she usually does. The first to arrive is Ebisu, who has a bouquet of roses

Ebisu: handing Tsunade flowers Flowers … for a flower.

Tsunade: Hmm, you do know I'm allergic to roses?

Ebisu quickly throws roses away, but they are picked up by the next arriving date

Jiraiya: HA! Tsunade! A flower for a -

Ebisu: Jiraiya-san, Tsunade is alergic to roses.

Jiraiya: Duh. throws flowers away Tsunade why must you hold such a silly competition when you know I'm going to win?

Gai: Those in the winter of their youth become delusional. TSUNADE! YOU NEED A YOUNG, STRONG MAN IN THE SUMMERTIME OF HIS LIFE!

Gai strikes his good guy pose with his thumbs up, as seven different camera angles capture his stance. Then, on cue, his teeth gleam

Tsunade: I guess everyone is here. poofs

Ebisu: Huh? Kakashi. Why did you do that?

Kakashi: To see your strategies. Ebisu, you may have a chance, Jiraiya, you are a great writer, but Tsunade has rejected you already. And Gai

who is still in good guy pose, teeth gleam again

Kakashi: Well, you're just Gai.

Gai comes out of his pose, turning his back to Kakashi, clenching his fist

Gai: thinking _Kakahsi … you're too cool and hip! I must give 100 compliments tonight! If I can't, then I'll buy 200 jewels! _

Tsunade – the real one, walks in the bar, wearing a different out fit than her usual. She is wearing a long red dress, and has let her blonde hair down

Ebisu: frozen Amazing …

Jiraiya: does Frog Dance Tsunade, I take back the whole flat-chested Tsunade remark! Every bad remark! Just let me enjoy this moment! drools

Kakashi looks on indifferently, and Gai gawks, but changes his expression as he sees Kakashi's reaction

Gai: thinking _Kakashi … nerves of steel … long white hair … I must admit that if you win, I'll be jealous. _

Kakashi: Good to see you Tsunade. You look nice.

Ebisu: Err … Kakashi, that's a major understatement. You look fabulous, marvelous, splendid, totally –

Jiraiya knocks Ebisu out of the way, running to the dressed up Hokage, holding her hand

Jiraiya: Tsunade, looking at her up and down They are so big, so beautiful ….

Tsunade, being the quick tempered person she is, easily throws Jiraiya across the room

Tsunade: I'll warn you once.

Jiraiya: Yes. thinking _But what a way to go_

Ebisu: righting himself off the floor Yes.

Both Gai and Kakashi say yes, and the four follow Tsunade to the bar counter, where the bartender begins to serve the five people drinks

Tsunade: Since I know about all of you … I'll ask you a few questions shinobi aren't used to answering. First, you Ebisu. Let's say I've had a hard day at work. What will you do to cheer me up?

Ebisu: Hmm … anything you ask. I'll do anything to make you comfortable.

Tsunade: OK. Kakashi?

Kakashi: It depends. If someone were messing with you, I'd kill them. If you were just tired, I let you sleep until you regained your strength. If you were mad, I'd let you vent out your frustrations by listening to you.

Gai: thinking _AAAAAHHH! Kakashi, always playing it cool! Is there no weakness?_

Tsunade: Maito Gai? How about you?

Gai: A beautiful woman like you would never have a hard day. I'd do my best to make sure no one messed with you. But if they did … I'D DESTROY THEM WITH MY LOTUS!

The other 4 look at Gai, as well as the rest of the bar, which is quiet. Gai swetdrops

Tsunade: Jiraiya, I know I'll regret asking, but what about you?

Jiraiya: busy writing in his book OH! Uh, hmm. I've seen you on your bad days. It can be scary. I'd back off and give you as much room as possible.

Tsunade: All right. One more question before I have to eliminate one of you.

Jiraiya: Don't you mean elimidate?

Tsunade: No.

Ebisu wets pants

Tsunade: If you were a weapon, what would you be? Jiraiya?

Jiraiya: Ho ho ho! stomps foot I would be a katana! It's long, sharp and gets to the point! IF you know what I mean?

Tsunade sweatdrops, as well as the other three. She looks at Gai

Gai: Definitely tai gloves. They are like me. stands up

STRONG

Gai raises fist

COMFORTABLE

He stretches the fabric on his outfit

AND MOST OF ALL … THERE TWO OF THEM!

the other 4 fall to the ground. Gai is holding his fist up in his good guy pose, and his teeth gleam again, and the camera hits him from seven different angles again. Tsunade sweatdrops again

Tsunade: Kakashi? What weapon are you?

Kakashi: A kunai. Pratical, useful and very effective if used right.

Tsunade: Mmm, very good answer. Ebisu.

Ebisu: A shiruken. Very small, so it can fit just about anywhere. wipes drool off

Tsunade glares at Ebisu, who is frozen in terror

Ebisu: I didn't mean your heavenly mammories! NOOOOOO!

Tsunade raises her fist, then grins

Tsunade: Ebisu, I forgive you. I didn't mean to intimidate you at all.

Ebisu: Oh. exhales

Tsunade: But I do mean to snap you like a twig.

Ebisu pees pants, then runs out of bar

Tsunade: I guess that makes one down. Now, we'll go to the hot springs. I need to relax.

Jiraiya: OOOOOOOOOHHHHH! Heaven must be smiling upon me! clicks heels

Kakashi: Wow.

Gai: In my summer time of youth! I'm not sure if I can handle the sight…

Scene switches to the hot spring, where Kakashi, Jiraiya and Gai are waiting in the spring. Suddenly, Tsunade walks out wearing a black bikini. Needless to say, everyone is speechless

Tsunade: Nice to see you all. smiles How are you all feeling?

Jiraiya: Hmm thinking about when she threw him do you want the G or X rated answer?

Tsunade glares at Jiraiya, who gulps

Jiraiya: Uh painicking great! Great! The warm mist from the springs are refreshing!

Kakashi: … coughs

Gai: thinking _Kakashi-san, you are too cool! I must say the perfect thing._

Gai: I FEEL AS GOOD AS I DID IN THE SPRINGTIME OF MY YOUTH! GET IT? SPRING TIME?

crickets chirp and Kakshi coughs again. Tsunade sweatdrops

Tsunade: So, besides the springs, how do you unwind?

Jiraiya opens his mouth, but after a stern look from Tsunade, he closes it

Kakashi: Listening to the birds, reflecting on nature. And – well, reading Jiraiya-san's legendary series.

Tsunade: giggling You read it then? I never thought a quiet, stoic guy like you would be into such a book.

Kakashi: Well, smiling, rubbing back of neck

Gai: thinking _Kakashi-san, you are hitting a home run! I must come back with a spectacular response! Without it, I will surely fail!_

Gai: I UNWIND BY DOING 2000 PUSHUPS! IF I CAN'T DO THAT, I DO 3000 SITUPS! IF I CAN'T DO THAT ….

Tsunade: You unwind by … exercising?

Gai: YES! stands up in hot spring, giving good guy pose

Tsunade:... Whoa.

Both Kakashi and Jiraya look as well

Jiraiya: Are these the cold springs? laughs, along with Kakashi and Tsunade

Gai: embarassed IT'S ONLY SHRINKAGE! gives thumbs up

Tsunade: I've made my next decision. Gai, you'll have to leave.

PART 2! I mean, part 2 coming up!


	2. Tsunade: Part Two

_italics - either a thought, or an action_

- - -

…_when we last left our Elimidaters, Gai was Elimidated in the hot springs for his … err … overcompensation. Anyway, the first off was Ebisu, and that leaves Kakashi and Jiraiya. _

**Tsunade: **Now that I'm down to two, I think it's time for you to show me your best moves.

**Jiraiya: **You mean dance?

**Tsunade: **Exactly. _snaps fingers_

_Three people push out a Dance Dance Revolution machine. Kakashi looks on indifferently, still reading his Ichi Ichi Paradise. Jiraiya rolls his eyes. _

**Jiraiya**: Isn't there supposed to be some part with the guys dancing _with _the girl? I kind of want – _Tsunade glares at Jiriaya_ to dance on the machine? _Tsunade smiles, nodding_

_The machine is booted up, and blares out incomprehensible lyrics, along with deafening high pitched voices. Jiraiya covers his ears, stomping around, and Kakashi steps on the machine. _

**Tsunade**: Jiriaya, please come to the machine. It's not that bad.

**Jiraiya**: Are you kidding? This music is horrible! I refuse to play it! I don't care what you do! _crosses arms, turns back to Tsunade_

_Tsunade saunters over, putting her hand on Jiriaya's shoulder, causing him to blush a bit. _

**Tsunade**: Jiriaya … we've been through _so _much together. Just this once? Please?

**Jiraiya**: _nose is clearly wide open_ Oh, oh, OKAY! I'll do it! Anything to see your mountains of glory!

_In a poof Tsunade turns into Kakashi, and Jiraya's pupils shrink out of exsistence. He can only imagine what the **real **Tsunade is doing…_

**Tsunade**: _veins in her forehead are noticeable, and her fist is clenched to the point her hand is turning purple_ Jiraiya … if you value your life, you will get on the machine … NOW!

_Tsunade's voice shakes the entire place, and Jiraiya jumps on the machine next to Kakashi. The music starts…_

**Jiraiya** this … _stepping_ isn't so bad… _looks over at Kakashi, who is stepping in tune with the beat, getting perfects_ Oh, he's doing good as well. I better put an end to that. _does hand seals_ Secret Water Bullet Technique!

**Tsunade**: What?

_A cascade of water hits the machine, short circuiting it, and sending both Jiraiya and Kakashi off of it. As the dust clears, Jiraya's head is buried somewhere. _

**Jiraiya**: _Am I_ …_dead? Did I go to… heaven? What's that beautiful smell? And this soft, warm feeling? looks down into ample cleavage _ THIS REALLY IS HEAVEN! YAHOO!

_In actuality, he hit Tsuande's chest, knocking them both over. Kakashi landed on his feet. LEVEL UP!_

**Tsunade**: Jiraiaya, you have three seconds…

**Jiraiya**: To lift my precious head off of your heavenly bosom?

**Tsunade**: No … TO LIVE! _throws Jiriaya off, then stomps ground, creating earthquake. Jiraiya runs out of barm with the Hokage close behind. Crashing and screams can be heard _

**Kakashi**: I guess I'm the winner … I think.

**Up next on Elimidate**: _Four kunoichi darlings gather to see who can win the affections of one Itachi Uchiha!_

**Itachi**: I hate you.

fin :D


	3. Itachi: Part One

_Italics are thoughts. _

**Bold shows actions**

**Screams of pain and torture are heard off-screen, and we see a dark-haired young man walk into the restaurant, He has lines below his eyes and is wearing a blue ad white striped button down shirt, untucked with the sleeves rolled up. He wears a pair of dark blue jeans and white casual Adidas with navy stripes. **

**The people in the restaurant suddenly look up, but the young man is unfazed. With a menacing stare, the onlookers suddenly go back to eating. He clears his throat and glares at the hostess who has decided to greet him. **

**Hostess: giggling** Hi, my name is Wanda! Welcome to Apple –

**Young Man: **My name is Itachi Uchiha, and I'm here to meet four miscreants – I mean young women. I understand I am to kill three, and I am to court the survivor.

**Hostess: **Oh, you're here for Elimidate! And you must have meant 'Elimidate' instead of killing three girls.

**Itachi gives Wanda a glare. **

**Hostess**: **wide-eyed **Oh, I guess not. **back to cheery mode** Follow me! Tee-hee-hee!

**Itachi follows Wanda to booth and sits down. **

**Hostess: **Okay, the girls will show up in about five minutes! Have fun!

**Itachi:** _Fun is watching an insignificant being writhe in pain and scream in agony as they realize the inevitable – that they WILL die and – _

:I WILL WIN THIS DATE, WITH THE FLAMES OF LOVE!

**A young woman with short black hair wearing a green and yellow jumpsuit with the forehead protector around her waist leaps in demolishing the door as she enters. She has yellow weights around her ankles, and has wide brown eyes, not to mention slightly thick eyebrows. **

**Itachi: **Rock Lee in drag? _  
_

**The girl laughs slapping him on the back, almost launching him out of his seat. **

:My name is Pebble Lee! I'm Rock Lee's big sister!

**Shinobi Profile: Pebble Lee / Age: 18**

**Height: 5'6"**

**Weight: 127 lbs**

**Specializes in Taijutsu**

**Loves to fight and train**

**Hates people who don't try their hardest. **

**Classification: Chuunin**

**End of Shinobi Profile**

**Itachi: **_Rock Lee … has a sister? I was never informed of this. But, there's definitely a resemblance. And that's not a good thing. _Well, you are first Pebble. Now for the rest of the vermin – I mean women.

**Two young women walk in. Both are very similar physically, the same height and hair length. One has black hair with a indifferent expression and is wearing a black sleeveless shirt with black short and fishnets. She has black sandals and has dark eye shadow around her brown eyes. **

**The other is wearing a white kimono and has platinum blonde hair with golden eyes. She has a warm smile, and walks a step behind the black clad young woman. **

**Black-Clad Girl: **I'm guessing you're Itachi.** looks at him up and down **I guess this'll be okay. My name is Fujin Kuro.

**White-Clad Girl**: My name is Fujin Shiro.

**Shinobi Profile: Fujin Kuro and Fujin Shiro / Both are 16**

**Height: both 5'5"**

**Weight: both 115 lbs**

**Kuro specializes in Genjutsu**

**Shiro specializes in Medicine**

**Kuro loves to torture, sarcasm**

**Shiro loves stuffed animals, making new medicines**

**Kuro hates fluffy things, girly girls**

**Shiro hates mean people and pointy objects**

**Kuro is actually a jounin**

**Shiro is a medi-nin**

**End of Shinobi Profile**

_Itachi stares at Kuro, who seems to be sitting, disinterested. _

**Kuro: **Where's the fourth girl?

**Itachi: **_This girl … there's something about her…_

**Itachi clears his throat, then orders an appetizer of nachos. A few minutes later, the plate arrives, and it is smoking hot. **

**Itachi: **_This will be a small test. The way a woman eats shows her character. _

**Pebble is the first to reach for the nachos, but pulls her hand back. She blows on it, then thrusts her hand back, then toward, holding a near flaming nacho. Shiro fans the nachos, and Kuro simply picks one up, then places it in her mouth. A few seconds later, she gulps, then yawns. **

**Itachi: **_Amazing fortitude. The intense heat of the appetizer didn't affect her…_

**Pebble: stuffing food into her mouth **THE INTENSE HEAT IS NO MATCH FOR A LEE! WE EAT FIRE FOR BREAKFAST!

**The other three patrons sweatdrop. A chorus of screaming is heard coming from the woman's bathroom. A moment later, a young woman with golden blonde hair and green eyes walks in calmly. She is wearing a grey/blue sleeveless with grey arm sleeves which stretch from her shoulder to her elbow. She is wearing a pair of grey shorts with grey sandals. She gives everyone a smile before walking to the booth. **

**Grey-Clad Girl: **Hi. Sorry for my tardiness. My name is Mahi Tomiko. Don't mind the screams. Please?

**Shinobi Profile: Mahi Tomiko / Age: 15**

**Height: 5'7" **

**Weight: 120 lbs**

**Specializes in Immobilizing people**

**Loves still paintings, slow moving streams **

**Hates: Hyper people, busy people**

**Classification: Genin - she keeps forgetting to attend the chuunin exams**

**End of Shinobi Profile**

**Tomiko: sees nachos **Oooh, nachos. Yummy! **rubs hands together **

**Itachi: **So you all made it. Let's begin and make this as painless as possible. First, I want to know just why you would like to date me.

**Pebble: **Well, you ARE an Uchiha. The greatest clan in all of Konoha. Born with natural talents. Even the worst of the Uchiha were still incredible shinobi in their own right. And any ninja that could kill an ENTIRE CLAN? WHY _WOULDN'T_ I WANT HIM?

**Itachi: **Flattering. In an uncomfortable sort of way….

**Kuro: **Look, I'm here for the free food and drinks.

**Shiro: **Aaah, Kuro-chan, stop being so mean. I'd like to date a talented shinobi myself. And well, since they were looking for some kunoichi, I answered the call! And what they say about you isn't true. You aren't scary at all.

**Itachi: under breath **You're not my enemy…

**Shiro: **Huh?

**Itachi: **Nothing. Tomiko….

**Tomiko: looks up, with cheese hanging out of mouth. She quickly wipes it off, laughing **Um, I like dark, brooding guys. And since Uchiha's are so rare, I guess it wouldn't hurt to land one. And I was sort of hungry too…

**Itachi: **Now, my next question before I eliminate – I mean destroy – I mean dismiss one of you. If you are to _somehow _survive and be the final kunoichi left standing, where would you like to go on another date?

**Pebble: **Definitely a dojo. I must keep training! I didn't do my 1000 pushups yet!

**Kuro: **1000 pushups! What a freak.

**Pebble rises from seat, leaping at Kuro. **

**Pebble: **I'll show you a freak! **launches a kick at Kuro**

**Kuro: **Just like a Lee. Too straightforward. No real talents….

**Kuro simply vanishes from everyone's view and the restaurants color changes to a negative color like a photo negatives Pebble lands and looks around, confused. Shiro covers her eyes, and Tomiko nods. **

**Tomiko: **_A genjutsu… impressive to say the least. What's her next move? _

**Shiro: **Kuro-chaaan. Please stop!

**Itachi: **_Never expected a fight._ _Maybe these four excuses for kunoichi will be interesting enough after all…_

**Kuro appears over Pebble's head, peering from the ceiling. A determined Peeble quickly leaps – only to find she jumped too high and collided with the ceiling. She crashes to the ground. Kuro simply forms a hand seal, and the surroundings return to normal. She sits down calmly, as if nothing happened. Shiro twists her mouth, glaring at Kuro. Tomiko eats another chip, but is obviously impressed. **

**Kuro: sees glare from sister **What? She started it.

**Itachi: looking down at KO'd Pebble **I think the first decision is made. The three of you will follow me to Konoha Hill to watch the moon.

**Shiro: **Sounds romantic.

**Kuro: **Okay.

**Tomiko: **Sure.

**To be continued…**


	4. Itachi: Part Two

**Four figures are on a hill, watching the moon begin to rise. Since it's a little chilly out, they are wearing robes. Tomiko has a blue/grey robe. Shiro has a white robe, and Kuro has a black robe. Itachi has a black robe with red clouds on it. **

**Itachi: **_This feels … so familiar. And why do I think Kisame should be here right now? _

**Kuro: **So Itachi, why are we here?

**Itachi: **The moon brings out different sides of people. We usually hide a part of ourselves, and that part usually surfaces during night. So, is there a part of you that no one else has seen?

**Kuro: shrugs **I sort of like … really cheesy love songs. I sometimes end up humming them without thinking.

**Shiro: blushes **I sort of like being tied up. **looks away**

**Itachi: pausing **Amazing. And Tomiko, what secrets do you have?

**Tomiko looks from person to person, then looks down. **

**Tomiko: **I … I shouldn't say it. Not right now…

**Kuro: **Come on … it can't be _that_ bad …

**Shiro: **Yeah! Spit it out!

**Tomiko: fidgeting **Well, I guess. I mean, it's better to have everything out, right?

**Kuro: **Yeah, it's not like you're a _man_ or anything….

**Suddenly, there is a pause. Shiro and Kuro both give looks of horror, and Itachi is even surprised. **

**Tomiko: in deeper voice **Um, I hope this doesn't change anything. **tries to laugh in girly voice, but manly voice comes through**

**Itachi: **Something is about to change right now. And I must ask you to leave.

**Tomiko: **Really? I mean, a menacing and dangerous guy like you, not killing? That's not like you.

**Itachi: **I never said I'd let you go alive. **activates Sharingan **I'm just letting you run to make things interesting. **the wheels on the Sharingan begin to turn **You can run now….

**Tomiko quickly runs out of view, and Itachi disengages his Bloodline Limit. **

**Shiro: **That was scary.

**Kuro: **I think you should kill him.

**Itachi: thinking **You're right. I'll be back.

**Itachi disappears form view, and sickening sounds of bones crunching and snapping are heard. Three seconds later, screams of torture are heard. **

**Kuro: happily **Now THAT is why I want Itachi.

**Shiro: staring in direction of action **I'm not sure if ANY medic attention will be of use at this point.

**A second later, Itachi is back, and his eyes turn from red to the usual brown. Kuro smiles and Shiro looks in the direction the screams came from. **

**Itachi: **The final stage will be a one on one battle. You will fight for seven minutes. After the time has elapsed, and one of you isn't dead, I will make a decision based on your performance.

**Kuro: **Sounds fun.

**Shiro: **Sure. We're pretty even anyway.

**Itachi: **And by fight, I mean dance – with me.

**Both sisters are completely shocked. Kuro looks at Shiro, who blushes. Itachi looks at both with disdain, then begins to walk away. **

**Itachi: **Come with me. We're going to the Kunai. It's a late night hang out. Or so I'm told.

**The trio ends up at the packed club, and as the camera pans around, we can see Jiraiya hitting on a group of obviously disinterested young women, Tsunade sitting with Kakashi at a nearby booth in the VIP section, and Asuma and Kurenai chatting over drinks. The atmosphere is a very quiet, refined one, but not boring. Jiraiya's cackling can be heard above everything else. Also, on stage playing soft jazz are some of the younger shinobi. Sasuke is on the saxophone, Naruto is one the drums, Ino is playing the guitar, Shino is playing bass and Sakura is playing the piano. **

**Itachi: **_Brother … performing such useless activities. An Uchiha is much more talented than that._ _You should be playing **every **instrument. _

**Shiro**: Nice place. You sure we can come in though? We're not 18 yet.

**Itachi**: Well, the bouncer didn't object much.

**Kuro**: Of course, now he's lying face down in cold blood.

**Itachi**: **mumbling **Um, that's not the point. **back to normal volume **We should go to the dance floor immediately.

**Both Kuro and Shiro both showcase very different dance styles as they dance around Itachi, who is content to just shuffle from side to side and move his arms as little as possible. Shiro dances facing Itachi, but isn't touching him. Meanwhile, Kuro is bumping and grinding, stepping in front of Shiro and facing her. **

**Shiro: **_Kuro, you will lose. You're too aggressive…_

**Kuro: **_Shiro, stop fooling yourself. Acting like a prude will get you nowhere. _

**Sasuke: watching as he's playing** _Brother, this weakness will be the death of you. And I will deal the final blow. _

**For some reason, Itachi looks in Sasuke's direction. His younger brother is busy playing his instrument, his eyes closed in concentration. He keeps dancing, but notices that Shiro and Kuro have stopped and are facing each other. The music abruptly stops. **

**Kuro: **Shiro, he's MINE!

**Shiro: **Kuro, stop! You aren't even interested in him.

**Sakura: **I'll take him!

**Ino: **That means I can have Sasuke!

**Sakura: stops **On second thought…

**Both Sakura and Ino begin to argue as well. Tsunade is visibly amused, and Asuma sighs, putting down his cigar. Kurenai decides to move, but stops, surveying the action. Itachi scratches his head, then lowers his eyes. **

**Itachi: **_This may not end well. But this should decide who is the last one remaining. _

**Meanwhile, Naruto is trying to stop Ino and Sakura from fighting, but gets mauled in the process. Kuro and Shiro are fighting using kunai and shuriken. Sasuke activates his Sharingan, then runs at his older brother. **

**Sasuke: **Itachi, you came here for a date. You WILL have a date … with DEATH!

**Itachi: deadpan **That was kind of cheesy.

**Sasuke: stopping for a moment **Yeah, I know. But since the show is Elimidate, I figured I'd incorporate the whole date thing with death. You know, since you killed my entire family and all.

**Itachi: **Now that you mention it, the whole 'date with death' thing is sort of clever.

**Sasuke: **Really? Thanks. **goes back to anger mode **Now DIE Itachi!

**This time, there are three fights going on at once. Patrons are beginning to run out, but Tsunade is very intent on who wins. Kakashi sighs and Asuma smokes again, leaning back and propping his feet up on the table. Kurenai looks at Shino, the only one NOT fighting or hurt at the moment. He calmly motions to Kurenai, and they both leave. Asuma nearly chokes on his cigar and looks in shock at Kurenai. **

**Asuma: **What the –

**Kurenai: **Don't worry. I just have to walk him home. I'll be back.

**Shino: **Yeah, back tomorrow morning.

**Asuma: **Shino! I'll kill you.

**Shino disappears from view, then stands behind Asuma. **

**Shino: **That's Mack Daddy Shino to you.

**Both leave, and Asuma puts his head in his hands. **

**Asuma: **Geez, I lose out to a kid. Kurenai is a freak, what can happen next?

**Bartender: **LAST CALL!

**Anko: drunkenly **On more for da road! Come on! Don't hold back baby! **clangs glass on table **

**Asuma: **_Maybe this night won't end so badly after all._ **runs to Anko **

**Voiceover: And that ends Itachi's date! He didn't end up dating either Fujin sister. **

**Sasuke once again was defeated in his attempt to kill his older brother. **

**Shino really was walked home by Kurenai, and that's all. **

**Asuma found out the hard way that just how powerful Anko is when she is drunk.  
**

**Both Sakura and Ino ended up exhausted after their fight, and ended up going home.  
**

**Naruto is still out like a lightbulb though. **

**Jiraiya did land a chick, but found out she was 'packin' **

**Tsunade and Kakashi were the only two that night who didn't suffer any injuries. **

**Up next on Elimidate: Tayuya **of the Sound Four!

**Tayuya: **Mother** bleeping** piece of **bleep** you better **bleeping** find me some **bleeping **hunks or I'm going homicidal on you **bleep**'s!

**Until next time….**


End file.
